I pray that the poor innocent people in Hillary’s Rochester New Hampshire headquarters get out without harm. Yet, deep in the dark recesses of my mind the nagging fear that this hostage situation is a staged event set to bolster Hillary in the democrat primary and set up a new wave of “Vast Right Wing Conspiracy” sound bites into motion lingers.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Hillary is good in a knife fight and there is nothing she won’t do to win. America loves drama and this situation makes good dramatic television.

John

Henry Hyde was a hero to many of us in the Pro Life movement. He stood up for the good fight, the right fight and the fight for life. Although Henry was as guilty as any of us for falling short of the Glory of God, he was tireless without triangulating, steadfast when he needed to be and took his licks like a man. After all, he was exactly that, a man.

Henry wouldn’t have been an ideal republican candidate for president, but his character shone through when the going was tough. When Mitt and Rudy scrap like menopausal piranhas I cringe and think of Henry.

When ruminating about last night’s republican mud bog war I though of Johnny Rotten, of the former punk band the sex pistols. At his final performance in the United States with Sid Vicious he stopped and asked the audience, “ Do you feel like you’ve been cheated?”   I know I do.

John Finnigan

My thesis for this article is that illegal immigration into the United States is an irresistible temptation for both the immigrant and our nation given the current circumstances. Both sides of this debate are loaded for war, and are quite willing to fire any salvo of destruction at the other just to maintain the status quo.

If I were from a poor rancho in Mexico and had the opportunity to steal into the United States for a better life it wouldn’t take more then a few moments to pack my bags and head toward the boarder. Corruption in Mexico and most of South and Central America is staggering and institutionalized from the bottom up. Poverty is the way of life for the majority of citizens in these countries, and despair is rife. Substance back breaking labor tends to be the standard and servitude is the norm.

Given these conditions millions of people make the perilous journey risking life and limb for a chance at a better life. These illegal immigrants know that they will be viewed as second tier humans by the country they’re running to, yet they come anyway. They come because their children eat better here, get some form of public education here, get medical care here, and corruption is not one-tenth as bad here as where they came from; except maybe in Chicago, or Cleveland.

The capitalists in our country count on these millions of third world workers to suppress wages for the native born, suppress inflation by keeping labor cheap, and exploit the third world willingness to do hard and dirty jobs without complaint. By extension our national balance sheet benefits from these workers. In all honesty our government has done very little to stop illegal immigration, our economy benefits from their labor and our consumers benefit by these laborers suppressive effect on inflation.

So millions and millions of people have come, by hook and by crook, and of the ten to thirty million illegal immigrants currently in the country there maybe fifty million immigrant children who are by birth citizens of the United States. Those fifty million citizens, the children and families of illegal immigrants have radically altered our health care system, education system, legal system, economy and culture.

The free market has spawned an elaborate system to smuggle illegal immigrants into our country, move them around to points of work, employ them, house them, entertain them, send money home to their loved ones in other countries and even move them toward citizenship.

Our government and most of our citizens have looked the other way while illegal immigration flourished and even benefited from illegal labor. I contend that all of us are responsible for this problem.

The question is, how do we find a solution that stops illegal immigration, isn’t racist, is fair and equitable, establishes a clear law that is both enforceable and enforced, and all of us can live with?

John

I suppose those who ascribe Judeo Christian social values are seen as a pain in the rear end for conservative libertarian types, yet the truth is that without the social conservatives, the republicans are doomed.

Conservatives are all aflutter and worried that Mike Huckabee is a mutant boil that may disrupt their party. They keep hoping that this boil will resolve itself and simmer down, and the people who support the boil will come to their senses and triangulate (another word for compromise) their beliefs so that they will vote for a more elect able candidate.

What shocks me about this election isn’t that country club conservatives and princes of darkness are upset that Huckabee is doing well; it’s that former leaders like Pat Robertson and others have lost their way and endorsed pagans and the unsaved.

Mike Huckabee is not a fiscal conservative. Yet on most other issues he is very socially conservative. Mike is probably closer to a true neo-conservative then the greedy would like to imagine.

Mike Huckabee is not Jimmy Carter either. Jimmy Carter is a man who courted the white supremacists to get elected to his first term as governor only to cut their throats when elected and reveal his true beliefs. Jimmy Carter has little integrity.

If you want a candidate who can win black evangelicals, it’s Mike Huckabee. If you want a candidate who can win Hispanic Roman Catholics and evangelicals, it’s Mike the boil Huckabee.

Mike Huckabee is not my perfect candidate for president of the United States. Yet, he comes closer then the other boys in the field. Now, if Mike begins triangulating, I’ll relegate him to Jimmy Carter status. Until then, I like Mike.

John Finnigan

I watched Pat Robertson on Fox News yesterday and tried not to throw up. I know that Pat must have had a massive stroke because he had a hard time answering very simple questions. When asked if he hasn’t changed his mind on voting for a morally repugnant candidate, like Rudy G, Pat didn’t answer. So, in the interest of being honest since you can’t seem to be, due in part either to that stroke or dementia let me answer that question for you. YES, you have changed your mind.

I know, because I was there in years gone past when you said these things.

Pat, it’s sad when men I looked up to begin to sound and acts like the triangulating pagans you used to warn us not to follow. I might remind you brother that the bible still says let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. I know you’re a lawyer so do you need to be reminded of the definition of yes ands no? If you’re changed your mind, say so. If you’ve changed your mind about yoking yourself up to unbelievers, say so.

Pat, Pat, Pat, you’ve broken my heart, again. I love you brother, and am saddened at your change in heart.

John Finnigan

While his brothers in the Christian Social Conservatives cringe at the fact that Pat Robertson had a stroke and endorsed Rudy, Mike Huckabee is surging in the Iowa Caucuses. With no money Mike has gone from second tier candidate to first tier candidate and now-according to the latest CBS Time poll-is in a statistical tie with Mitt. Statistical ties are just that, statistical. Not real, just statistical.

In the 2000 primaries, Gary Bauer a former dandy of the social conservatives stuck a knife in the heart of his many admirers at the time by yoking himself to John McCain. Many were horrified, including me. The lust for the ring of power can corrupt even the best of the good guys. Eight years later, Pat Robertson-caught up in the quest for the precious ring-slips even lower then Gary Bauer did in 2000. I hope Pat repents for his actions that occurred as a result of that stroke.

Now, out of nowhere, Mike is a force in Iowa.

Mike Huckabee is not a fiscal conservative knight in shining armor. But, for most issues-excluding his tax and spend and Republican Big Government tendencies Mike is close to a 75% fit for the Christian Conservatives.  He should also be a good fit for true Neo-Conservatives.

There is no sure thing in this Republican primary. Neo-cons and Pagan conservatives keep hoping to slip a candidate that Christian Conservatives will yoke themselves to despite the potential candidates repugnant behavior or philosophies. Mike passes the smell test for Christian Conservatives. He’s not a fiscal conservative, but neither is George Bush.

Here is a good question for Mike: “Do you feel Israel is the rightful owner of the West Bank and Gaza Strip, and should they trade land for peace?”  This question could change everything for Mike in Iowa.

John Finnigan

I was sitting in my corner Duncan doughnuts having the morning’s first diet Pepsi when police officer Gideon Poole arrived for our week day morning coffee clutch. He’s the espresso man, not me. Gideon is a big fella; about six feet tall and about 285 lbs.  We first met about four months ago during the Peace riots in Chicago. I pushed a knuckle head to the ground just as he was getting ready to whack Gideon in the back of the riot helmet with a Louisville slugger. Ever since then this officer has allowed me the privileged of purchasing his morning coffee and doughnuts.

“Morning GIDI!” I say.  “Hey Finny!”  Gideon says in his gravely voice.

I always have a triple espresso with heavy cream; two apple fritters and a plain long john for my friend. After all, it was Gideon who initated me into the fraternal Order of A-Holes; sponsored me into the Knights of A-Holes; and helped me achieve the coveted position of third degree A-Hole Knight.  I flash the secret A-Hole hail and farewell sign. Gideon flashes it back, then sits down and begins eating with great vigor.

“GIDI,” I say, “I got a sick cat.”

Without missing a beat, Gideon reaches into his bulletproof jacket, hands me a business card and grunts. A grunt from this man means one of three things: He’s got indigestion; goodbye; or he’s got your back covered.

I slap my $20.00 down on the table for the waiter’s tip (WINK, WINK) and take off into the mean streets of the North Side.

Twenty minutes later I walk into the offices of my favorite politician’s office in Chicago: the Honorable Clayton Cesspoole, Alderman of the 241^st Ward.  A Ward in Chicago is most like a titled land in the English Peerage system. Instead of calling the occupant of the Ward your Lordship, Baron, Count, Earl, Viscount or Duke; you call the occupant Alderman. However, like the English Peerage system, the holder of the title gets to sit in the House of Lords; collect income from the people who occupy his or her Ward; and pay a financial tribute to those in his political party who allowed him to have the title and land, oops, I mean Ward.

The Alderman sees me right away.

“Good Morning, Mr. F.” Alderman Cesspoole says. “Good morning your Honor.” I reply.

“I understand you’ve got a sick kitty. I believe his name is Fluff Daddy.”

News travels fast in Chicago. It was just this morning that I found out about Fluff daddy’s illness.

“Yes. Sir,” I say, “He’s a sad sight.”

The Alderman winks at me; reaches into his jacket, pulls out a business card and grunts. A grunt from this man means one of three things; He’s ready for a visit with the secretary; goodbye; or he’s got your back covered.

I suddenly remember. “Oh by the way, Your Honor, I’ve forgotten to pay my….. Uh….street cleaning assessment.” (Wink, Wink). “No problem,” the Alderman says “One of the girls in the office can swipe your Visa card on the way out.”

An hour later, I walk into the Ravenswood Square Veterinary Clinic with my cat in his travel carrier. The receptionist behind the desk says” Hello Mr. F, that must be Fluffdaddy you’ve got with you.”

Moments after we arrive Fluffdaddy is whisked off into an emergency examination by the vet, Mrs. Olga Cesspoole, Clayton’s wife. I sign the emergency authorization paperwork and am escorted into the waiting room. Evidently the examination is quite invasive and is usually disturbing for the owners to watch.

The Ravenswood Square Vet clinic is a miracle of modern Veterinary Science. It’s got nothing but the best. The girls in the front office run down to the corner Starbucks and bring me back a Venti Latte with a double shot of whip. Nice girls.

Suddenly Dr. Cesspoole runs out into the waiting room. She speaks with a very thick polish accent. “Kitty very sick.”  I reel in shock. She continues “Kitty need specialist right away. We send to kitty internal medicine specialist. We call emergency cat ambulance.”   The vet runs out of the room.

The Officer Manager steps forward to comfort me. “I know how troubling this must be for you.” She seems like an angel at that moment. My lips must be quivering. “We need to swipe your Visa card to cover the $200.00 for the examination and the $600.00 for the emergency blood work.”  I hand her my card. “Oh,” She continues, “We also need to swipe for the ambulance.” I nod yes.

In Lickity split time, the ambulance arrived and we’re off to the Cesspoole Ravenswood Feline Medical Specialty Clinic. We had the CT scan, The MRI, The Cat Scan (no pun intended), a Doppler assessment and an emergency consultation with the feline surgeon.  Things were looking pretty grim. It was decided that surgery was needed; however the surgeon was performing quadruple bypass surgery on a Persian champion and couldn’t operate on our Fluff thing until the next day.  We decided that fluffy should go home with me, just incase the unthinkable happened before the surgery. If our kitty was going to go, he would go while in the arms of those who love him.

I had the Cesspoole Feline Medical Specialty Clinic Office Manager swipe my Visa for the $5,941.32 in emergency examination procedures.

That night, as Wendy and I were pampering Fluffdaddy before his big surgery, Alderman Cesspoole and his wife Dr. Cesspoole called to express their prayers and support. We were touched.

The next morning, I’m sitting with my friend Gidi at the Duncan doughnuts. He seems to already know the whole story, but listens to me anyway. “I tell you Gidi, I love that cat, but he’s costing us our entire savings-the money we’ve been putting aside for the baby we want to adopt.” 

Gidi seems disturbed. He reaches into his sock and pulls out a .38 detective special and puts it on the table. He says: “I think you should get the baby.”

Startled, I ask “What do you mean?”

He says “ Finny, It’s a FREAKING cat. Besides, a bullet is less then fifteen cents.”

I sit in stunned silence. He continues. “Take the piece, do what you gotta do and bring it back tomorrow.”  “But what about Cesspoole?” I ask. “He’s a piece of crap. You take the piece Finny.”

What could I do? I took the piece.

I made my way home and found my wife asleep next to our beloved Fluffdaddy. He was in bad shape. I felt horrible. I gingerly picked up my Norwegian Forrest Cat and gave him a gentle hug. Suddenly Fluffdaddy made the most horrific sound, convulsed violently and threw up the largest hairball looking mass I’ve ever seen. Then, fluffy got up, trotted over to his feeding bowl and began to vigorously feed. Fluffdaddy was back from the grave.

Wendy woke up and saw the enormous hairy mass in the floor. “What’s that?” she asked. “It looks like its got bones in with that hair.” She looked over at Fluffy eating at his food bowl. “What’s going on?”

I advanced on the hairball and began to examine it. There were indeed bone in it. And, the color of fur was orange, not black like Fluff’s.

I was startled. “It looks like the fur from the missing Guinea pig.”

Post Modern Conservatives are probably looking at the Evangelical Christian ambivalence and dissatisfaction with Mitt, Rudy, Fred and John with puzzlement. Post moderns don’t understand why people who hold firm beliefs can’t or won’t triangulate and negotiate with the devil. They can’t understand why evangelical zeal often trumps the pragmatic tenet of picking the least evil path.

Even some Post Modern Evangelical Christians are urging their pesky half siblings who hold to orthodoxy to triangulate. I’m sure that the founder of Bob Jones University, if he weren’t in heaven, would be turning in his grave. Even Pat Robertson seems to have lost his way.

This is not the first time that Christians who hold fast have been thought of as crazy for holding to their beliefs. The Roman Empire at one point required all Romans to confess that Cesar is Lord or face execution.  Christians who held fast to their beliefs were put to death.

During World War two Hitler made the confessing evangelical churches change their confessions to include that God sent Hitler to save the German People. Those who resisted were burned and killed. 

Orthodox Evangelicals who hold fast to biblical admonitions to not be unequally yoked are often referred to as crazy, unwise, non team players and childishly stubborn. Political and position triangulation and moral relativity are not traits that are readily found in the bible. It’s very clear to most evangelicals that Mitt, Rudy, John and Fred have not been sent by God to save the Christians.

I keep waiting to see if Mike Huckabee falls into the category of post modern evangelical. Time will tell.

The question most evangelicals have to ask is “Do I feel cheated by the Republican Party?”  Most will probably answer: “Yes.” I know I do. The second questions is “Is being unequally yoked to the unsaved, heretics and post modern conservatives working for you?”  I think the Republican Party should hold its breath and pray about that answer.

John

I saw a rather cute bumper sticker the other day. It said “Don’t forget to spay and neuter your local Republicans.”  What is so ironic about that bumper sticker is that in reality the average liberal progressive will neuter and spay themselves out of existence.” Liberal Progressives have a conflicted post modern mental thought habit. They’re ego maniacs while feeling guilty about being alive. It truly is a sad situation. They lust for power and wealth yet feel guilty about both. Greater recruitment, reproduction and immigration are really the only ways groups in a democratically inclined republic can prevail. By preventing themselves from reproducing in sufficient numbers to control the electorate, liberal progressives must recruit children from people who reproduce in greater numbers, or increase immigration to get and maintain power.

Fortunately for liberal progressives the Republican Party is ripe with what I call Neo-Liberals. People who support Rudy and Mitt are prime examples of Neo-Liberals. They profess to be conservative while acting line liberals. Triangulation and switching issues is another sign of a Neo-Liberal.  When you look at it, what are they differences between Bill Clinton and Rudy? Truthfully, they’re few. Yet, in our race to elect a candidate that will only make us nominally ill we loose our soul.

Our government spends too much money. Republicans have led the way in spending these past few years. Liberal Progressives are trying to find ways to pretend the war on terror is only a figment of Neo-Conservative imagination. The Ku Kos Clan and Move on from liberal democracy dot org are competing to purify the Pure Progressive Race. Republicans are attempting to nominate Neo-Liberals as their candidate for president.

It is a strange world.

John