Who do you vote for when all three major candidates for president make you want to throwup? It is a question that many of us face this election cycle.

First a few observations: The GOP is gangrenous and in the process of massive surgical political amputation. The states voters seem poised to spank the palaver in the GOP at the polls. The GOP proved more adept at spending tax dollars then the democrats.

The Democrats-a.k.a. wild asses-are split between the cognitively dissonant left ( Ku Daily Kos Klan) and the deranged angry moderates-so-called Regan democrats. The wild asses are looking forward to spending like the old days.

So, we get to choose between the big tax and big spend wild asses- Democrats, and the lower tax and big spend infected elephants-Republicans. Which disease is better? Which form of cancer do we choose in hopes that we can survive the term of the illness.

John McCain- a moderately malignant cancer fully capable of killing himself and the nation with his unbridled anger and maverick attitudes.

Barack Obama- a highly malignant cancer likely to kill the nation and blow our society apart.

Hillary Clinton- an incredibly malignant cancer prone to mutation, revenge and reemergence. She never quits.

So, pick your poison. And, Pray.

John

I saw a rather cute bumper sticker the other day. It said “Don’t forget to spay and neuter your local Republicans.”  What is so ironic about that bumper sticker is that in reality the average liberal progressive will neuter and spay themselves out of existence.” Liberal Progressives have a conflicted post modern mental thought habit. They’re ego maniacs while feeling guilty about being alive. It truly is a sad situation. They lust for power and wealth yet feel guilty about both. Greater recruitment, reproduction and immigration are really the only ways groups in a democratically inclined republic can prevail. By preventing themselves from reproducing in sufficient numbers to control the electorate, liberal progressives must recruit children from people who reproduce in greater numbers, or increase immigration to get and maintain power.

 Fortunately for liberal progressives the Republican Party is ripe with what I call Neo-Liberals. People who support Rudy and Mitt are prime examples of Neo-Liberals. They profess to be conservative while acting line liberals. Triangulation and switching issues is another sign of a Neo-Liberal.  When you look at it, what are they differences between Bill Clinton and Rudy? Truthfully, they’re few. Yet, in our race to elect a candidate that will only make us nominally ill we loose our soul.

 Our government spends too much money. Republicans have led the way in spending these past few years. Liberal Progressives are trying to find ways to pretend the war on terror is only a figment of Neo-Conservative imagination. The Ku Kos Clan and Move on from liberal democracy dot org are competing to purify the Pure Progressive Race. Republicans are attempting to nominate Neo-Liberals as their candidate for president.

 It is a strange world.

 John

Rebuilding the Republican Party anew.

Arnold Schwartzenegger, California’s prince of the so-called Republican party, represents all of the reasons I’m on the outs with the republicats. He supports gay marriage, abortion, big government, more taxes and cut and run international isolation relations. He wants to put California, the republicat party and the rest of the U.S. on the path of death in the same way Europe is in decline.

Perhaps the new Republicat Party should adopt the mythical but extinct sabertooth tiger as their animal mascot. It was a mighty and feared animal but is extinct, or on the verge of extinction.

John McCain, the Republicat standard bearer for the fall is a deeply flawed candidate for fiscal, social and Christian conservatives. When the press turn on him and his wife-which will happen-he’s likely to explode. He’s also a whore to big political money and influence. Gucci tracks are all over his head, back and backside.

So, there are three foul candidates for the fall as of now. John, Obama and maybe Hillary.

Sick, Sickest and Sicker. Do I throw up now or later.

John

Liberal Progressives spay and neuter themselves out of existence

I saw a rather cute bumper sticker the other day. It said “Don’t forget to spay and neuter your local Republicans.”  What is so ironic about that bumper sticker is that in reality the average liberal progressive will neuter and spay themselves out of existence.” Liberal Progressives have a conflicted post modern mental thought habit. They’re ego maniacs while feeling guilty about being alive. It truly is a sad situation. They lust for power and wealth yet feel guilty about both. Greater recruitment, reproduction and immigration are really the only ways groups in a democratically inclined republic can prevail. By preventing themselves from reproducing in sufficient numbers to control the electorate, liberal progressives must recruit children from people who reproduce in greater numbers, or increase immigration to get and maintain power.

 Fortunately for liberal progressives the Republican Party is ripe with what I call Neo-Liberals. People who support Rudy and Mitt are prime examples of Neo-Liberals. They profess to be conservative while acting line liberals. Triangulation and switching issues is another sign of a Neo-Liberal.  When you look at it, what are they differences between Bill Clinton and Rudy? Truthfully, they’re few. Yet, in our race to elect a candidate that will only make us nominally ill we loose our soul.

 Our government spends too much money. Republicans have led the way in spending these past few years. Liberal Progressives are trying to find ways to pretend the war on terror is only a figment of Neo-Conservative imagination. The Ku Kos Clan and Move on from liberal democracy dot org are competing to purify the Pure Progressive Race. Republicans are attempting to nominate Neo-Liberals as their candidate for president.

 It is a strange world.

 John

Who do you vote for when all three major candidates for president make you want to throwup? It is a question that many of us face this election cycle.

First a few observations: The GOP is gangrenous and in the process of massive surgical political amputation. The states voters seem poised to spank the palaver in the GOP at the polls. The GOP proved more adept at spending tax dollars then the democrats.

The Democrats-a.k.a. wild asses-are split between the cognitively dissonant left ( Ku Daily Kos Klan) and the deranged angry moderates-so-called Regan democrats. The wild asses are looking forward to spending like the old days.

So, we get to choose between the big tax and big spend wild asses- Democrats, and the lower tax and big spend infected elephants-Republicans. Which disease is better? Which form of cancer do we choose in hopes that we can survive the term of the illness.

John McCain- a moderately malignant cancer fully capable of killing himself and the nation with his unbridled anger and maverick attitudes.

Barack Obama- a highly malignant cancer likely to kill the nation and blow our society apart.

Hillary Clinton- an incredibly malignant cancer prone to mutation, revenge and reemergence. She never quits.

So, pick your poison. And, Pray.

John

I was sitting in my corner Duncan doughnuts having the morning’s first diet Pepsi when police officer Gideon Poole arrived for our week day morning coffee clutch. He’s the espresso man, not me. Gideon is a big fella; about six feet tall and about 285 lbs.  We first met about four months ago during the Peace riots in Chicago. I pushed a knuckle head to the ground just as he was getting ready to whack Gideon in the back of the riot helmet with a Louisville slugger. Ever since then this officer has allowed me the privileged of purchasing his morning coffee and doughnuts.

“Morning GIDI!” I say.  “Hey Finny!”  Gideon says in his gravely voice.

I always have a triple espresso with heavy cream; two apple fritters and a plain long john for my friend. After all, it was Gideon who initated me into the fraternal Order of A-Holes; sponsored me into the Knights of A-Holes; and helped me achieve the coveted position of third degree A-Hole Knight.  I flash the secret A-Hole hail and farewell sign. Gideon flashes it back, then sits down and begins eating with great vigor.

“GIDI,” I say, “I got a sick cat.”

Without missing a beat, Gideon reaches into his bulletproof jacket, hands me a business card and grunts. A grunt from this man means one of three things: He’s got indigestion; goodbye; or he’s got your back covered.

I slap my $20.00 down on the table for the waiter’s tip (WINK, WINK) and take off into the mean streets of the North Side.

Twenty minutes later I walk into the offices of my favorite politician’s office in Chicago: the Honorable Clayton Cesspoole, Alderman of the 241^st Ward.  A Ward in Chicago is most like a titled land in the English Peerage system. Instead of calling the occupant of the Ward your Lordship, Baron, Count, Earl, Viscount or Duke; you call the occupant Alderman. However, like the English Peerage system, the holder of the title gets to sit in the House of Lords; collect income from the people who occupy his or her Ward; and pay a financial tribute to those in his political party who allowed him to have the title and land, oops, I mean Ward.

The Alderman sees me right away.

“Good Morning, Mr. F.” Alderman Cesspoole says. “Good morning your Honor.” I reply.

“I understand you’ve got a sick kitty. I believe his name is Fluff Daddy.”

News travels fast in Chicago. It was just this morning that I found out about Fluff daddy’s illness.

“Yes. Sir,” I say, “He’s a sad sight.”

The Alderman winks at me; reaches into his jacket, pulls out a business card and grunts. A grunt from this man means one of three things; He’s ready for a visit with the secretary; goodbye; or he’s got your back covered.

I suddenly remember. “Oh by the way, Your Honor, I’ve forgotten to pay my….. Uh….street cleaning assessment.” (Wink, Wink). “No problem,” the Alderman says “One of the girls in the office can swipe your Visa card on the way out.”

An hour later, I walk into the Ravenswood Square Veterinary Clinic with my cat in his travel carrier. The receptionist behind the desk says” Hello Mr. F, that must be Fluffdaddy you’ve got with you.”

Moments after we arrive Fluffdaddy is whisked off into an emergency examination by the vet, Mrs. Olga Cesspoole, Clayton’s wife. I sign the emergency authorization paperwork and am escorted into the waiting room. Evidently the examination is quite invasive and is usually disturbing for the owners to watch.

The Ravenswood Square Vet clinic is a miracle of modern Veterinary Science. It’s got nothing but the best. The girls in the front office run down to the corner Starbucks and bring me back a Venti Latte with a double shot of whip. Nice girls.

Suddenly Dr. Cesspoole runs out into the waiting room. She speaks with a very thick polish accent. “Kitty very sick.”  I reel in shock. She continues “Kitty need specialist right away. We send to kitty internal medicine specialist. We call emergency cat ambulance.”   The vet runs out of the room.

The Officer Manager steps forward to comfort me. “I know how troubling this must be for you.” She seems like an angel at that moment. My lips must be quivering. “We need to swipe your Visa card to cover the $200.00 for the examination and the $600.00 for the emergency blood work.”  I hand her my card. “Oh,” She continues, “We also need to swipe for the ambulance.” I nod yes.

In Lickity split time, the ambulance arrived and we’re off to the Cesspoole Ravenswood Feline Medical Specialty Clinic. We had the CT scan, The MRI, The Cat Scan (no pun intended), a Doppler assessment and an emergency consultation with the feline surgeon.  Things were looking pretty grim. It was decided that surgery was needed; however the surgeon was performing quadruple bypass surgery on a Persian champion and couldn’t operate on our Fluff thing until the next day.  We decided that fluffy should go home with me, just incase the unthinkable happened before the surgery. If our kitty was going to go, he would go while in the arms of those who love him.

I had the Cesspoole Feline Medical Specialty Clinic Office Manager swipe my Visa for the $5,941.32 in emergency examination procedures.

That night, as Wendy and I were pampering Fluffdaddy before his big surgery, Alderman Cesspoole and his wife Dr. Cesspoole called to express their prayers and support. We were touched.

The next morning, I’m sitting with my friend Gidi at the Duncan doughnuts. He seems to already know the whole story, but listens to me anyway. “I tell you Gidi, I love that cat, but he’s costing us our entire savings-the money we’ve been putting aside for the baby we want to adopt.” 

Gidi seems disturbed. He reaches into his sock and pulls out a .38 detective special and puts it on the table. He says: “I think you should get the baby.”

Startled, I ask “What do you mean?”

He says “ Finny, It’s a FREAKING cat. Besides, a bullet is less then fifteen cents.”

I sit in stunned silence. He continues. “Take the piece, do what you gotta do and bring it back tomorrow.”  “But what about Cesspoole?” I ask. “He’s a piece of crap. You take the piece Finny.”

What could I do? I took the piece.

I made my way home and found my wife asleep next to our beloved Fluffdaddy. He was in bad shape. I felt horrible. I gingerly picked up my Norwegian Forrest Cat and gave him a gentle hug. Suddenly Fluffdaddy made the most horrific sound, convulsed violently and threw up the largest hairball looking mass I’ve ever seen. Then, fluffy got up, trotted over to his feeding bowl and began to vigorously feed. Fluffdaddy was back from the grave.

Wendy woke up and saw the enormous hairy mass in the floor. “What’s that?” she asked. “It looks like its got bones in with that hair.” She looked over at Fluffy eating at his food bowl. “What’s going on?”

I advanced on the hairball and began to examine it. There were indeed bone in it. And, the color of fur was orange, not black like Fluff’s.

I was startled. “It looks like the fur from the missing Guinea pig.”

John

Rebuilding the Republican Party anew.

Arnold Schwartzenegger, California’s prince of the so-called Republican party, represents all of the reasons I’m on the outs with the republicats. He supports gay marriage, abortion, big government, more taxes and cut and run international isolation relations. He wants to put California, the republicat party and the rest of the U.S. on the path of death in the same way Europe is in decline.

Perhaps the new Republicat Party should adopt the mythical but extinct sabertooth tiger as their animal mascot. It was a mighty and feared animal but is extinct, or on the verge of extinction.

John McCain, the Republicat standard bearer for the fall is a deeply flawed candidate for fiscal, social and Christian conservatives. When the press turn on him and his wife-which will happen-he’s likely to explode. He’s also a whore to big political money and influence. Gucci tracks are all over his head, back and backside.

So, there are three foul candidates for the fall as of now. John, Obama and maybe Hillary.

Sick, Sickest and Sicker. Do I throw up now or later.

Oil $300.00 a Barrel, or more by mid 2009

When market forces play out and capitalism does what capitalism does, make money, people stretched to what they feel comfortable paying to live scream “Ouch!”

How dare those people who own the oil fields charge what the market will pay? I mean when 150 million middleclass Chinese become 300 million middleclass Chinese and want to live the middle class life, how dare they bid up the price of crude oil for their 600 million beautiful and satisfying cars and SUVs?

Buying and paying for what you want is the middle class way of life whatever your ethnicity, color, religion or nation of origin.

So, those middle class Chinese and Indians and booming capital market people want what we want. And; they can pay for it.  When you auction off resources, those who can pay the most usually get the resources. In 1997 the middleclass Chinese imported about a million barrels of oil a day from Opec sources. Now the Chinese import 3 and one half million barrels of opec oil a day. The U.S. imports 10 million barrels of oil a day.

What we’re seeing is capitalism in action. Capital is going where there is money to be made. If I want the gas, I pay the price. So does everybody. Sniveling about it helps nobody.

John

Working class Americans are mad. After years of preaching economic self sufficiency and capitalistic enterprise, those darned Chinese and Indian middleclass people are working hard and doing what capitalists do- buy. They’re buying crude oil, food supplies and whatever else makes them feel happy, just like us.

Now, gasoline may very well hit $5.00 a gallon by December, the cost of food is up and up. And vacations to our favorite familytopia cost more and more.

Truthfully, it’s no conspiracy, it’s just capitalism.

Farmers in Argentina are building agricultural powerhouses and amazing infrastructure that can and will beat the pants off of American farmers. The same is true for industrial and technical infrastructure in China and India.

Guess what America, things have changed. Unfortunately, few promises from presidential candidates will actually take us back to the days of easy dominate capitalism. Capital flows where there is money to be made. In Mumbai India a billionaire built an entire skyscraper just for his family home. 4 million feet to cuddle his wife and children and their 300 servants.

Many Americans have stopped dreaming big, big, big. Those who dream big and pursue those dreams with vigor will prosper.

John

John McCain is no Ronald Regan. However, Ronald Regan probably couldn’t live up to  his mythical stature even if we could clone him, his personality and his allure. The ghost of R.R. cast a long shadow and living up to myths is a difficult thing to do.

John McCain is a war hero, a United States Senator and a voice for secular Libertarian Republicans who value wealth and look for pragmatic ways to get what they want. Secular Libertarian Republicans tolerate people who hold to strong values, only as long as they can be manipulated. When strong value holding conservatives get in the way of Libertarian pragmatism Libertarians call them agents of intolerance. John McCain has called Social Value conservatives such names.

John McCain is an American Hero, yet the chances I’ll vote for him are very slim. I admire senator McCain, his family, his devotion to country and his service. The things I can’t accept about him are deal breakers though. I wish they weren’t but they are.

John

How to Filet a lame duck

In the waning months of a presidency, many former loyal rodents decide to cash in on their association with the prez and serve up a book or two of flaming lame duck. There are several reasons-Money being the primary-and yet I can’t help but feel bad for the sliced and diced foul being served up for the opponents literary consumption.

On one hand you elevate people to the center of attention, and then they defecate on you for cash, book deals and speaking tours.

I’m glad I’m not the president, not running for president and not related or familiar with anybody likely to become president. Becoming president is like playing the reality show survivor. You have to out lie, out whore, out twist and out spend the other knuckle heads. Then the lame and weak members of the posse swoop in and pick over the carcass and win the prize.

So, I expect more servings of flaming George Bush to appear in the next months and years-the Looney left is salivating for the books and movies.

John

Is the Obama Campaign a coup de tat?

I remember the 1976 election for president. Jimmy Carter took the election on a song and a prayer; gave Panama away; ran up record inflation; helped the ruling junta of theocratic Islamists who we’re still fighting in the middle east into power; humiliated the country; let the soviets run wild; got President Sadat of Egypt killed;   and pretty much devastated the country.

Should Obama win the actual final count of democrat nomination and win the general election I expect him to follow the steps of the former President Peanut Carter.

I keep reminding everybody that the election is not a game of horse shoes. Close doesn’t win the game. Getting the required delegate vote does. Despite what the press and pundits say, Obama does not have the official delegate count.

The race is a contest. If two runners are not to the finish line yet, the lead runner can’t stop, declare himself winner, tell the other runner to stop because he’s already won by getting close to the finish line.

For the good of the party lay down, let the lead runner declare victory even though he hasn’t really won yet; because getting close to the finish has earned him the right to win.

Obama has not won the required 2025 votes with the actual voters, will only get the nomination by manipulating party fat cats-super delegates, has not won in a straight up election and is trying to declare a coup de tat.

When market forces play out and capitalism does what capitalism does, make money, people stretched to what they feel comfortable paying to live scream “Ouch!”

How dare those people who own the oil fields charge what the market will pay? I mean when 150 million middleclass Chinese become 300 million middleclass Chinese and want to live the middle class life, how dare they bid up the price of crude oil for their 600 million beautiful and satisfying cars and SUVs?

Buying and paying for what you want is the middle class way of life whatever your ethnicity, color, religion or nation of origin.

So, those middle class Chinese and Indians and booming capital market people want what we want. And; they can pay for it.  When you auction off resources, those who can pay the most usually get the resources. In 1997 the middleclass Chinese imported about a million barrels of oil a day from Opec sources. Now the Chinese import 3 and one half million barrels of opec oil a day. The U.S. imports 10 million barrels of oil a day.

What we’re seeing is capitalism in action. Capital is going where there is money to be made. If I want the gas, I pay the price. So does everybody. Sniveling about it helps nobody.

John

Working class Americans are mad. After years of preaching economic self sufficiency and capitalistic enterprise, those darned Chinese and Indian middleclass people are working hard and doing what capitalists do- buy. They’re buying crude oil, food supplies and whatever else makes them feel happy, just like us.

Now, gasoline may very well hit $5.00 a gallon by December, the cost of food is up and up. And vacations to our favorite familytopia cost more and more.

Truthfully, it’s no conspiracy, it’s just capitalism.

Farmers in Argentina are building agricultural powerhouses and amazing infrastructure that can and will beat the pants off of American farmers. The same is true for industrial and technical infrastructure in China and India.

Guess what America, things have changed. Unfortunately, few promises from presidential candidates will actually take us back to the days of easy dominate capitalism. Capital flows where there is money to be made. In Mumbai India a billionaire built an entire skyscraper just for his family home. 4 million feet to cuddle his wife and children and their 300 servants.

Many Americans have stopped dreaming big, big, big. Those who dream big and pursue those dreams with vigor will prosper.

John